faithfulynn.♥

♥ Thursday, July 28, 2005

mom's better over the past few days. (x yaay! she cooked a sumptious dinner yesterday. chicken wings, this fish with an overload of bones and soup! no vegetable. hurhur- she helped me remove ALL the bones from the fish and she left all the fishballs and meatballs in the soup for me. (: i love mom. she cooked today too. bahahaha. well. she has never in many years, cooked. so this really is a HUGE DEAL to me.

I still remember the time when i quarrelled with nik and mom helped her. however, nik did not appreciate help and told her to shut up. they ended up quarrelling and i was so mad at both of them that i attempted to hurt myself, which i did. i was angry with mom because she helped nik. i was mad at nik because she shouted at mom.

when i look at the scars now, i thought i was stupid. not only are there scars, what difference would it make if i died? it wouldn't have solved any problems. explains why i cried so hard when Ramesh talked to us about our family. now the mere mention of it are making my eyes water. it wasn't a penknife, luckily. i didn't have one in my room. PHEW. i would have died! it was a pair of scissors. but scissors, scars? i expected blood and not scars. however, i did not achieve that effect. haha. stupidity can be saved. now that those scars remain, remind me it shall. life is not worth wallowing in self-pity. I live to love and I love to live. I, MAKE A DIFFERENCE. (x

I'm sorry if I've been mad at you for no reason.
I'm sorry if you're mad at me.
I'm sorry if I've been a meanie.
I'm sorry if I never appreciated and loved you.
I'm sorry if I took you for granted.
I'm sorry if I fell in love with the wrong person.
I'm sorry if I'm too flirtatious.
I'm sorry if I've been quite a bitch.
I'm sorry if I made you feel incompetent.
I'm sorry if I ran you down.
I'm sorry for whatever I've done.

I'm sorry.

8:37 PM;