i don't get it.
i can't get it.
i'll never get it.
i'm oblivious to it.



they..
they all left me for themselves.



in class. me, a, b and c sits together.
i was seated at the "most inside" seat. e was absent.

miss: "yadda.. e"
*takes e's paper..
miss: "yadda..LYNN. a."
*takes a's paper.
miss: "yadda.. yadda.. yadda.. b."
*takes b's paper
-i sat there. hoping someone would kindly help me take my paper.
*finally, c handed my paper to me.
- i sat there. i'm like an abhorrence. i took my bag and sat by myself.



nobody bothered. nobody cared. from that very moment, i know what significance i am to them. i bet they all put me in the balcony in the-great-one's question. i did not feel this coming. i don't know. deep under, i'm just a follower. like a maid in a chinese palace. they, stand in positions of the empress or concubines or junior ladies. maybe, i can't fall in love with the best. i'm not worthy of them. i can't be cronies with them. if someone esle said "she hates me la!" all of them would argue "RUBBISH LA.". whereas for me, HAHA. they don't.



i'm not paranoid.
you're not me.
you won't know the way you treat me is actually different.



let me run. jump. and fall.




i'm only human. i want to be perfect but i can't help it.
i'm really only human. i don't want to cry but i can't help it either.
it's because you're starting to hate me that's why you find little things i do that's irritating. where exactly have i gone wrong? i was mean, i know. i have changed that. where else?



i can't beat your beautiful personality because i'm only me.
maybe i should've been that nerd from long ago.
i don't want to be bubbly lynn anymore.
bubbly lynn always goes wrong.
in short, lynn sucks.
i won't wallow anymore. i'll just admit that.
6:44 PM;