faithfulynn.♥

♥ Thursday, April 06, 2006

not that i don't care. i'm going mad thinking about it. i seriously need all the effing money in the world so that dad and mom can start a business and that i can well, bribe people to burn those freaking polytechnics that rejected me. (x out of my mind. yes, totally. i have yet to hear from temasek poly and republic poly. at least those who rejected me gave me a rejection letter. i feel so damned rejected, dejected and neglected. argh. i'm the least concerned whether or not you're sad, seriously. i don't give a damn. i have my own life to worry about now. i'm hanging on a thread on the 100'000 feet cliff. TP or RP? who will save me? and maybe if i had more money, i could take a private diploma. sighs. my world crumbles down on me. i'm left breathless and helpless. i could cry a river now, but what's the use of it? my head's bobbing so hard. my hair's turning white(yes, it is) and i'm here at my computer ranting and ranting and ranting about my life. as though i'd be a writer or somewhat close to that. i need a punchbag. i'd box the hell out of it. i'll make my fingers numb, i'll make myself cry and i'll.. i'll.. i don't know what i can do. RAHH. take a gun and make my brain dead. WOOTS. i'm crazy. i'm going through hell damn it.

I WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU GUYS(cat, emmy, luv, sheena and zhian). class chalet is in 2 days time. hope things will turn for the better. )x if not.. i'll be so very lost.

you don't need to cry me a river. i'll do it myself.

and FINALLY! i'm in the demo team of inline culture. will do all i can and hope i can go for a performance SOON! i think skating has already taken half of my life. well, and the other half goes to ALUMNI BAND! concert at the end of the year! sweet! (x oh man, i love life. but i can't live like that forever can i? RAHH. saddening. i wish human wasnt the only resource in singapore really. hope singapore was SO MUCH richer. and my family will be MUCH MORE richer than singapore. woahahaha. yes, can't deny that GREED is one of my biggest flaw. i think so much but all this thinking don't come to use. dolt. REAL BIG ONE AT THAT.

i've filled my entry with colours of a rainbow. things WILL be better as days pass. i'm a rainbow. i'm.. 'happy'. am i?

1:14 AM;