dang. i cannot say i'm 19 anymore. the day of hitting 2x is coming. omg, i'm gonna be an adult. this is so miserable.

ADULT = LIVING YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU DECIDE TO.

i cannot imagine living the rest of my life with a spouse that i think might live the rest of his life with me. what if he decides to leave me? what if another more awesome female comes in between? what if life becomes so bland that my love for him dies down?
and also..
i cannot imagine living the rest of my life as a career woman aka the independent woman. it's quite impossible, not that i cannot achieve it.. but i want kids. the independent woman often focus too much on work it's hard to even have any time for kids/husband. and no, i don't want to die without anyone to send me off.
and also..
i cannot imagine being a working adult. my parents are aging it's very bu yao lian to let them earn money to make me a living. they've already spent enough time keeping me alive.. now it's time to return the favour to keep both them and myself alive. geez..

i'm so not ready to be an adult. it's stupid really. if an average person lives up to 70 years old, 21 years is spent in school slogging, another 44 years spent working until retirement then there's only 5 years left to enjoy what you've made for yourself. but excuse me, by the time i hit 65, what life is there to enjoy?

i really don't understand why life has to be so difficult. who the hell came up with diplomas and degrees to qualify people in a job interview? tsktsk. and if i were to live a life like a typical person who slogs 9.9/10 of his life, i'd just die at the age of 65, seriously.

i still wanna play. be naive. go shopping. watch movies. skate. have barbecues. sleep overs. parties. wear my specs. i don't wanna grow up. :(
i have the peter-pan syndrome. argh. good? or bad?

and when my da jie told me about the problems my parents are facing, i didn't know what to say. how can i even fix anything? i've never been in such a situation.. and my parents didn't share it with me, so i am oblivious to all these adult matters.

i wonder how many singaporean families actually live happily.. like they dine at home as a family everyday, go for picnics/cycling every once a week at the beach, celebrate christmas, halloween and easter together, hold chalets on holidays with other relatives, have the family dine out at posh cuisine restaurants or hold huge parties with family and friends during birthdays, go on an overseas trip every once a year, sit down and watch tv every 7pm-9pm, gossip and talk about sensitive topics till midnight..

the rich are too busy handling clients, kids probably at home alone.
the moderate are too busy trying to earn money to pay off expenses, kids probably also at home alone. the poor are too busy working 5 PT jobs a day, kids probably at home too.
no matter what income group you are, it's the same. cus we're all singaporeans.
work to live or suffer.

but those super wealthy, sit at home shake leg got money earn cus they own huge companies.. their kids would be so pampered with luxuries and indulge in all the branded stuff, they'd probably wanna take 90% of the inheritence so the life of luxuries would still remain. if not take over parent's company cus the route is planned and the $$$ is all there. you think they'd actually go through the trouble of being a sales girl or promoter? i'd like to meet one if there's someone like that. but then, they'd probably wouldn't even bother looking at me. oh well.

i'm envious of people who live like that. it's unfair really. why is singapore a high expense living country? ARGH.

i want to be a traveller. i wanna travel around the world my whole life, exploring the different countries. i want to know how big the world is, i want to see how the lives others are living, i want to meet new people. don't want to fret over the future cus life is short. love it, live it or lose it. it's hard to love life when there's so much to worry about. so helpless... boo..
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