familiarity breeds content.
stupid, self-absorbed in your own world.


if you think that already having the girl in your dreams be with you in reality is something you deserve and that you should be satisfied about it, please think again. we are different people who grow up differently, and 2 individuals who think differently and live differently. i do not think like you do and i will not be contented until i find someone who can make me feel different.

i don't really know how to knock some sense into people. or actually talk to solve matters. to me, i'd just cry over it for a night, sleep over it and wake up to a new face. we should live life at the moment we're living it. so when i say something, things should be done to amend it so that the next time we see it coming, it doesn't happen again. talking about 1 thing eventually leads to 10 other arguments. so why talk when it always turn out the same?

in 9 months, i've learnt not to care about a single shit. the more you care, the more trouble you're giving to yourself. because caring and being sensitive (or over-sensitive) makes another person feel fucked up. if you don't wish to get involved in any fucked up situations, please remind yourself, you don't want/need or should have a girlfriend. is it wrong to point out something that you want to be changed/needs attention? if you keep insisting that "I don't know about this", then continue to not know for the rest of your life, you're really stupid. so start learning.

people see it from the surface of 10% of the ice berg. nobody sees 90% of what's below.

i feel absolutely upset about what i had gotten into. what i have put myself through. what i have made myself into. i should've cleared my mind from those pathetic thoughts before even making a decision. now i'm feeling fucked up.

i've finally shrugged it off, shut it down and freed myself from fucked up situations.

whether or not i'll live happily i will pull through. i've already tamed myself to live in regret.

i don't understand. if i make such an asshole impression of a girlfriend, i would've made an asshole for a friend. so if i make a great friend, why would i not be great as a girlfriend. please enlighten me.
why does everyone think that i'm a tyrant/bully when i'm being paired with someone slightly less tyrannical and looks a little less demanding?

just because i have a strong front, it doesn't mean i'm a big-headed, full-of-myself, self-confident spoilt brat. everyone has their soft spots. everyone is flawed. no one can be impeccable.

at times where i am seen at my strongest, i'm actually at my worst. i just don't show it because i don't want to affect anyone else. so many times, nobody can actually tell how i really am feeling inside. i hide it well. everyone has a mask for each friend but i have a mask for each time i'm feeling sore. it's not good to bottle up my feelings, but i just don't wish my feelings be known.

i'll just continue to be the unreasonable asshole who doesn't give a shit. i'm not understanding. i'm not nice. i'm impatient. what's the point of holding on when you know there's nothing that will be done about it?

so today i'm posting this because i've decided, i officially give up on him. i give up. i rest my case. hands down.
11:07 PM;