the room i stepped into today.. was a room of unfamiliar faces..
the presence and absence of mine just did not matter no more. i aint considered a band member.
the smile they gave was artificial. the masks they wore hid themselves well. they dont like me. i can tell.why did i even bother stepping right back into the room? i missed my flute real badly. REAL BADLY. but the room was no more of the same people. why?there wasnt even one soul who said hello to me. they only gave the 'why-the-fug-are-you-here' smile and face. i thought they would change after zat's so-called lecture. even after it, they have not bonded. where's the fire? being blown dead? pretty much like that..
the people who only cares about this band seriously is benny, aloy, vic... those few names. wendy..? i dont think she knows what is bond .. telling her to play a solo is like asking her to jump off a 70-storey high building.
i hate TWE. yes. yet i love TWE. lets call it the pTWE and cTWE. the previous TWE and the current TWE. okies? i love PTWE. i hate CTWE. all the shit that they do.. so fuggin shitty. and so.. you call this TWE ROCKS? go fug my dog. he is a bi-sexual.

i told cat i wanted to go for band today. she asked me.. 'with this kind of results you have for your prelims.. you still can think of band arh?' i did not know how to reply her.

i did step into the band room.. but i left.. sad for me.. happy for the cTWE. i know how much they hate me. I KNOW IT. have you heard of mind-reading?
hehs. aloy tried talking to me.. making me feel loved.. but it shouldnt be ONLY HIM to be doingthe job eh?
i wanted to play with them but i thought.. i have this fuggin f&n project to do. but then again.. if they ask me to stay.. why not? but the first thing they asked was 'you playing arh? not enough place for you'. i knew pin yi tried to tell florence that there aint enough chairs for me to play. so.. almost trying to imply (to me) they dont want me to play.
the pTWE would usually call me up if i wasn't there.. and i would hear the lil timmy telling me 'there is band today!!! better come NOW.' hehs. even though i was already at tampines, i rushed back to school. but things are different now.

when i kept my flute. i stood at a corner. looking at the band. listening to what new scores they were playing. as i stuffed my flute into the cupboard. i reminisced the used-to-be TWE. then as i opened the door to leave.. i looked back at the band. no one waved goodbye. NO ONE even cares about me. so i left silently. i saw kekang staring at the well arranged shoes. i made a false front, acted normal. i said bye. took my bag from the piano.. and the second step i took, tears gushed out from my ducts. i just couldnt control it. SYF memories flashed past my mind. the happy hugging together when the 'announcer' said "temasek wind ensemble................ DISTINCTION." everyone jumped and screamed IN JOY. the tears that gushed out was the same fast flowing thing. no one could stop it from happening. i looked back at the dark 'alley' that would lead me to the stairs. i just cried. blah blah blah. i wiped my tears as i was nearing the 1st level. believe it or not. it was ME crying in SCHOOL for the band that i USED TO love that much.
<--------------------- my love for band is this much. -------------------------->
i expect that much of love to be returned to me. like how eugene pampers me. like how much zat spoilt me. like how much roy loves me. like how much tim laughed with me. like how much dinners i had with the YO! gang. EVERYTHING. the love, love, and MORE LOVE.
the love i receive<----->now is this much. the five dashes to represent the ONLY five people who recognises me. benny, aloy, vic, wendy and yilin.

the band is so full of dead people. they are just walking, talking, eating, drinking, playing, performing corspes.
which is wrong. you are supposed to walk band, talk band, eat band, drink band, play band and perform band.

-i am sad. forlorn. melancholic(again). yes. AGAIN.

zat my dear... heard that you're having fever.. POOR THANG.. take caressssssss eh! i told you to take care.. you dont wanna listen. hMmMmmMm. eat more. become fatter more difficult to get flu or what fever all these.. okok? mUaH*

i love tim, eugene, viv, mal, liming, teresa, jing fang, kang zhuang, jerom, jing qing, roy, aaron, zhi jian, daryl, samuel, jacintha, liza, audrey, rickson, J, juling, wang quan.. and some other few 2003 SYF batch members.. :c i miss you guys loads and loads.

`idneverstepintotheroomofunfamiliarfaces.]]
LyNn fU -4 tissue issue-

10:28 PM;





oh.. now blogger has this new navbar going on up there on my blog..heys.. this is pretty cool. you get to see other peoples' blog! i din realise so many people out there on the other side of the globe has blogs too! heh. this is so gonna be interesting. blogspot is supposed to be something private eh? hah! well now, i think i gotta spell words out with the correct spelling. it'd be embarrassing for me if they read my blog. Xb dammit. i read a few blogs out there and realised that when a singaporean has a blog, you can tell he/she is singaporean. unless they write like zat or my sister. HAH. know why? singaporean use too much short forms. like "dun" or "pple" or "CCB" all that kinda stuff. hahahahahaha.. so i think i better spell correctly! so that.. you know... when people read my blog, they'd understand. i am so considerate eh? hahahahaha..!!! blaggh* Xb


and yes.. went out with the girls to sentosa yesterday. uh huh.. they were in their best looking bikini's and me? i felt pretty naked. - -ll they were getting tanned under the sun while cat and i decided to tour around sentosa with the bike we rented. heh. darn. we did not kayak. because... cat and i were having our yes, you guessed it. our period. dammit. i wanted to swim so much but cat was like.. " it is the ghost festival now lor. you have to think leh." you'll be possesed easily if you're considered 'dirty'.. so yeap.. had to skip dipping into the sea. it was so friggin hot. it was burning my skin. man.. if only we had the four seasons! eurgh. i would wish itd be the... spring now?! because in singaporean, most of the time we would be having the summer. C; there was loads of people getting naked on the beach, was pretty fun. it was the first i time i went o the beach with them to get all sandy and.. MUDDY? heh heh.. blaggh* Xb -bloob bloob bloob- can feel the every drip of the blood going on under there. eurgh. so annoying. and just realised that menses really affect your emotions.. REALLY! i watched liar liar last night and i was like.. crying? IT IS A COMEDY FOR GOODNESS SAKES! liar liar?! you must be like.. what the hell... - -ll
and dammit, i have to re-re-re-re-do my food and nutrtion project. this is the fourth time i got back my fugged up project. no? its the teacher who is the one fuggin things up. cant take it. she can holler at us for an hour for just our project. bitcches of the universe unite!!! id better get my ass moving before i fail to hand in my project on wednesday... take care people!! bless me for my upcoming exams!! AGAIN! dammit. hope i pass all subjects with.. erm.. flying colours.. hah! Xb


`iwantatimemachineandbringbackthosehappyhappysentosamoments.
to my valentine. C; haha.. engima!

1:51 PM;





blabber lambaste yakkity yak.
wont you sec ones ever come to a point and understand what zat doing is the sake of our bands future? dont you ever realise he does this for a reason? do you think all the seniors came up to be like this (so MUSICAL[except me] ,exuberant and united) without any criticisms and scoldings? you think so?! if yes.. haha.. go bang your head against a wall. the BIGGEST AND HARDEST one you can find. u can pick ANY seniors and ask them if these happened in our younger days in band. and trust me, we have all gone through this. yes, we hated zat for doing that and not respecting us.. BLAH BLAH BLAH. but we have never come to this stage of people insulting him and lambasting his blog so directly yet indirectly. do you know that's very rude? its so callous and nefarious. you doers are very disappointing. he called me a satay man, scolded me for being slow, scolded me for talking too much to tim and INFRONT of the whole band. when everyone was silent, listening. he told cat and jannah they were.. wadeva he said that time. criticised abigail till she cried... and all... and why do you think that we all still love him after all these? because we realise that he does this for a reason. though its quite hard to realise it sometimes. but i have realised.. the uniors these days are getting nowhere near to being respectful. really. now you all can start to hate me. i dont really care you know. its just me. with the attitude problem. if you dont learn to respect others, why they respect you? and dont tell me you sec 1s respect zat. because the tags and comments and crap on his blog are are extremely... u know what i mean. imagine you being the one in his shoes. he TRIES SO VERY HARD to conduct when everyone is talking and when he criticises you that you are talking your arse off (there is such a phrase. it means you're talking too much. go check a cambridge dictionary.), its true what he says. though he is very petulant. so dun crawl up his leg and irritate him. if he says it, and you all STILL do it, dont you find it very annoying to repeat times and again? listen la sec 1s, you cant beat zat. he is our instructor and will be instructor forever. he never will leave the band because he loves us. but you guys are chasing him away. HOW NICE. no wonder there is this chinese proverb -good heart have ,dont have good newspaper- TRANSLATED DIRECTLY INTO ENGLISH. hHAhAhAHhAhAhaAHhaHAhAHAha!!!!! okok.. wadsoeva la..please to the sec 1s and some of the sec 2s and 3s... please be nice. respect and be respected. love and be loved. dont go on about how DREADFUL zat is. because he never is. you will never know the goodness inside unless you oepn it. sounds like MILK advert. mUHAhahahAHhAhahaHAHHAhss... take care zat!!! i'll be loving YOU!!! `mUaH*

shpuld i make a gallery too?! but.. i have NO camera to take GOOD photos. DARN. i want to make all beautiful thangs in the world to be in my gallery!!! like the bandits(ALL).. the doollaly bitches(DRAGON BALL6).. my classmates.. the people i know..C; dang dang digga vang dang bang boom! mUHAhaHAhhahahHAHahah!!!
-scoffs-
`respectandberespected. loveandbeloved.~
i am being the lynn i always am.



7:22 PM;





yippy!!!!
for the whole day yesterday, i couldnt get online because of this firewall tat was blocking me.
and now i am back!! YAAY! hee..and thanks vince for making the new template agains!! woo hoos!!! heh heh.
sorry but i am an computer idiot. so the blog template is always done by other people. not myself. hahahah. came in to double check if the net is working online.. GTG! adios!!

1:57 PM;





look at what we have today!!!
i din know what will happen by doing that because i always do it to the other girls.
NO ONE has ever screamed at me for doing it.
and nobody will. she's the first, UNLUCKILY. she probably talked behind my back in the house. telling people what i did that made her oh-so-unhappy, how sucky and shitty i am and all.. i am numbed towards this. numbed. i hate it.

that's what friends are for? grudged for a little thing done that's considered.. eurgh. whatsoever. dont i do it to 'esperanca'? eurgh. oh well. she is queen. i am slave. whatever. i will get my arse off everything else.
she has her always-there-for-her-friends. good for her. i dont have. so whatever. anyway, they like her more than they like me.. she has a nice boyfriend and i dont.. i am irritating, ugly, fat, mutated, disfigured, evil, malevolent, abhorrent, stupid, ugly, fat, immature, sacarstic, bitchy, grotesque, nasty, slag, slutty, obnoxious, execrable, fat, loathesome, ugly, revolting, devilish, nefarious, callous, ugly, killjoy, schmuck, doofus, doer, bovine, ugly, hare-brained, ill-advised, ludicrous, senseless, ugly, asinine, nonsensical, ridiculous, imprudent and i can go on and on.. so.. oh well.. what can i say. everybody hates me. except ann. I THINK. hahaha.

S: "she din ask us."
M: "yah, i know.."
S: "she doesnt ask.. then.. let's go home!"
M: "she wont ask la.. nvm..we go out with mok they all la.."

hahaha, if you bear grudges at your friends(i wouldnt dare say best) for just hitting your butt, why doesnt <-alvan<- get angry at you squeezing her breast with mighty strength and force? dont you do it just for fun either?

OH WELL! i am friendless la. FRIENDLESS.
and.. we did go out with mokhsein after that.. i mean.. not only him. hahaha.. so fun can?! like.. 16 people went to eat $1 chicken rice!!! i ordered a $2 duck rice.. which happens to have only skin and bones. and ALOTA rice. so jinxed can.. hahaha.. but weili also ate the duck rice which had more meat than mine!! HAHAHA! so crap can?! sadly, munah and gang not there.. hahah.. there was weili, farhana, kaisiang, shahul, astley, vincent, dennis, stanley, mokh, syafiq, khairul, nazirul, sheena, justin and one more person.. erm.. OOPS. hahaha.. went hope sraight away.. catnapped.. supposed to be mugging now. but..ok.. i am going off!!! go study now. MUST BE THE TOP... 10? it is not imposhibble copies Mr Yong. ¦b hhAhAHhahhAHhAHhaHA! bluagh*

`stillbeingthemeialwaysam.idosyncratic.
LYNNETTE.
i am missing zat already..!!!! :c dont go zat. can skip ns a nort?! haiz.
u sec 1s juz dunno how cute he is k. he is really nice. but u all haven reached his heart to be loved by him.
u guys... haiz... obstinate buncha kids. hahaha, like every sec 1s. except my batch!!! weEeEeee!!! we rawk!

8:40 PM;






9:11 PM;