attitude problem let ME be. character problem let ME be. :D





how to trust? what to believe? i'm not going to try anymore. i'm tired. i'm sick of being tired. i'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired. brothers before whores. that's what he calls women. most of them probably too. YES I AM FAT, I AM UGLY. BUT NO, YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF BEING ANYONE CLOSE TO ME.





more petty than any woman is. FURY.






FAITH RUNS OUT AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE FAITH TO BE UNFAITHFUL. CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO BE TAKING SLEEPING PILLS. LET YOURSELF RUN FREE. SAVE YOURSELVES FROM MISERY. PUT IT DOWN. LET IT GO.
3:49 PM;





school as usual. it sucks and is ful of crap.





i have NO class, NO class as in not no lessons. i have no fixed class. i'm a classhopper. i'm being put into classes which fits my schedule. and that means.. for every subject, i have different classes, with different people. and probably, i'd know almost one quarter of my course mates by the end of the sem since i got like don't-know-7-or-8 subjects. -_- crap. (one quarter of 1000 plus = 250 plus people) and i won't have any close friends to consult. T_T i'm not liking this. well.. at least i've got khairul in dfund2 for lab. and i have a new friend kelly. WAHAHAHA. okay. and and.. i dont know ANYONE in the lectures. T_T i was sitting ALL ALONE IN THE LECTURE HALL ON MONDAY when i asked lucas and meiru to accompany me. WHAT A LIFE AM I LIVING!? this shouldn't be it. everyone was like.. staring at me when i walked into the lecture hall. people in my math tutorial class THOUGHT i was supposed to be in year 2 but i retake the module. -_- NO LOR. I AM YEAR 1.2 LOR. I CAN DO MATH, I WON'T REPEAT MATH ONE LOR. i-dot. aiyyaaa. please wish me well. i don't like my schedule. sucks big time. argghhh.






god bless me ah T_T
12:53 AM;





well well. finally, I WATCHED A MOVIE IN I-DON'T-KNOW-HOW-MANY-DECADES. woot. and the movie was awesome. a must watch! talladega nights. (: yay.





hope nothing screwed up. i'm in cold sweat. :s EEKS.





anyway.. about school.. HAHAHA. yes i'll be retaking one module of the 7 i have and and... i'm posted to learn FRENCH. woot~ is that cool or what!? i cant even do my 1st and 2nd language well and here comes a 3rd one. and no one can help me this time. i just can't imagine myself speaking in french. but nvm, i chose to learn french. and it's so fun! hahaha, cuz NOT a lot of pple can get into french. and amazingly i got into what i chose and suddenly i feel like crap. CUZ SOME PPLE TOLD ME FRENCH IS VERY DIFFICULT. and indeed, french is one of the harder languages to learn among the other languages namely german, italian, korean, japanese.. SIGHS. je'taime? that's the only thing i know in french, which means.. I LOVE YOU! ha. and hopefully i wont be speaking french in electronic terms. oh my. that's just disgusting.





anyway, i'll be really busy once school starts. REALLY REALLY busy. because monday, wednesday and thursdays start at 9am and end at 4pm. and tuesdays start at 10am and end at 6pm. only friday gives me some leeway. it starts at 9am and ends at 12pm. well well. 0.o in case you haven't known, i got out of dance already. because one, i'm so slow i need 3 times the time the rest need to learn a dance step. two, i'm not.. shiny enough. i step into the room and i feel like shit. cuz the rest are soooooooooooo good at dancing, they look awesomely magnificent and i look like shit and i'm too lazy to care. HA. and three. their concert is on the 21st . which is the day after tmr! although im not in it, pple interested can tell me. my friends are selling the tix. wait.. roy and joan are dancing. (: ANYWAY, back to the subject.. i got out of dance, phew! if not i wouldn't have time to breathe. HA. now breathing is already a difficulty. look at the darn haze! it's affecting everyone! please take care of yourselves lovelies. drink more water and eat fruits. build up your.. i-forgot-what-they-called-that.. the defence system?? hahaha. oh well.. whatever. just take extra loads of care people! (x





haze haze go away, come again another day, all the people need to BREATHE. oh great.

just as i'm finishing off my entry, MY PARENTS ARE HOME! lols. phew. i'm relieved.



9:25 PM;





slalomania- 28th of october. a battle. a competition. a first time in my life.





how how how? so exciting? so nerve recking? so... omg. been pushing myself. will be doing so even harder. 5 girls and 3 positions. T_T so stress can. i've been sitting back and relaxing. and suddenly everyone in demo team must join. OMG. cool is cool but.. AHHHH. my body's aching now. but whatever, doesn't matter. must BREAK A LEG!!! hahaha. everyone tell me to 'break a leg' okay! (: hahaha. reminds me of when i'm in o' level period. eeks. i think i'm the top 5. HAHAHAHAHA. the 5th position, top 5. which also means the last in the girls cat. HAHAHAHAHA. the results can expect one. i'm always screwing up. RAHH. T_T give me good combo suggestions fellow skaters. HA. give me a 2 piece chicken, one coleslaw, one mash potato and a mountain dew combo. xD yay. gambatte. this is the only way to show my parents i should continue skating!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahhahahaha. well, i hope i do shine though. T_T sighs. SOMEONE's birthday is coming. double stress? HA. one day before the slalomania. aikes. lalala~




im empty alr. dont know what to say anymore.. have fun people. school opens for poly students. o levels in a few weeks time for o level students and.. kids. damn, their having their holidays. RAHHH. OH cat also having hols. hahaha. best of luck in promo results!
3:19 PM;





whoa. i've been away from the comp for pretty long. T_T my comp died on me and.. my sister's home quite often these days.. so, no computer for me to use = mia. about my mom and dad.. things are still on the rocky edge. i don't quarrel with them everyday but.. yea. i try to listen to them though. since it's like.. the only correct thing to do in such situations. i'm loving life since most of you are here, listening to me rant about my quite miserable life. i din know i had THAT much listeners. some discreetly viewing my blog and blog hopping away.. while the rest whom i know are viewing my blog are viewing my blog. hahaha. zhian's birthday celebration was pretty awesome. one of the most organised celebrations we had for us. (: hope zhian had fun. which obviously she did, apart from the "I AM ZHIAN THE WARRIOR PRINCESS FROM THAILAND" time. wahahahahahaaha. yes, i was feeling pretty bad for us torturing her. x_x so mean la. hahahaha. but we laughed so hard at her expense. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. thank you zhian. thanks to cat and sheena for planning the stuffs. EMILY!! to especially delay time for us to cook the fondue. hahaha. yes chicken rice. and me for just being there! HAHAHAHAHAAHA. eh, i pitch the tent okay. lols. hmm.. i wonder whose birthday is next.






YAY. friday. T_T looks like i have to.. ARGHH. but i haven't in months. so.. i will take day off. her. ha. omg. okay, inside joke. LOLS CAT.
5:38 PM;





the full-stop of the sentence ends here.





i'm mad about what dad and mom impulsively did yesterday. the worst and most unimaginable thing that could've happened to me. they looked for my idolcoachfriend in the shop. mom told me on the phone last night 'dad went to look for him just now and they had a big fight. dad flared up because he din like his attitude and started scolding him.' first reaction 'WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU ALL DO THAT FOR?!' i shouted over the phone and mom was like 'you don't like you talk to daddy.' and as she was passing the phone to dad, i slammed the phone shut, walked to my room, slammed the door and locked myself in the room. they fucking ruined me, my life, whatever. i've told them before umpteen times if they ever do that, one, i'm gonna hate them, two, never ever talk to them and three, be more rebellious and defiant than i am now. and i thought these rainy days would be over. now a storm rages. dad tried talking to me and called for me after i got out of the bathroom and was walking to my room. i looked at him, looked away, slammed my door shut and locked myself in the room. they banged the door and tried telling me something but i couldn't be bothered to listen to them or talk to them anymore. i blasted my music and cried myself to sleep. they seriously don't know what they are doing. i know i haven been home but i told them i'd be staying over at a friend's place. they are worried yes i know, but they are worried about me doing stupid things. JUST LOOK AT ME, do i look so stupid that i'd go around fucking people? no. and the second night spent out was because i was so tired i fell asleep at simon's place. and there were people like sky, javier, lucas, kat, zhu and greg over there. stupid. what now? MASS ORGY? the last person they should ever look for is him. we weren't even at the shop. we only dropped by on saturday night. and what they have done now is gonna make me run away from home or stay out of the house more. or maybe i'll just live in seclusion. lock myself in the room all day long. i don't want to ever see or talk to them. yes, i'll make this 10 years, 20 years or maybe until i die. read cat's blog. cases of people jumping down buildings. ha, at the age of 15. maybe soon one case of this will be from tampines st 82 block 842g. HA. fucking stupid. now i'll need to patch things up and i don't know where i should start from. all these tears hanging on my cheeks aren't gonna solve anything. i feel like dying now. stupid people. stupidity. stupid. urgh. my life is stupid, i should just go and die.






just like my life ends here.
1:38 PM;